Article at VICE about my Chick art show:
Leg Warmer Porn Is Gross
“I’ll squander the hours I should be working trolling the internet for pictures of women whose leg warmers have been spattered with semen. You could call this my kink.” – Lewis “Teabag” Miner, Home Land
Legwarmers piss me off in a way that other types of “let’s forget it never happened” fashion fads don’t. Because unlike “mandals,” jean-skirts, or zip-off cargo pants—which are all disgusting but fulfill a purpose—legwarmers don’t do shit to keep you warm. Sheathing your legs in tubes of yarn while your feet dangle out in the cold is like popping mittens on your elbows. So why are these frumpy, outdated, and fundamentally absurd excuses for socks the source of so many boners on the internet?
Legwarmer smut ranges from short YouTube clips of girls slipping them on and slowly rubbing their legs together to full-blown porn videos of girls—or g-string-wearing guys—fucking with their (surely very toasty) legs thrown high in the air. You can also find scores of pictures on foot fetish sites of pouty models with their legwarmers spread open. The commenters are always far more interested in the length and furriness of the legwarmers than the gaping pussies staring them in the face.
Torn between her need to give life and her concern for the uncertain fate of tasty endangered species, Ai Hasegawa has found a way of merging both: by giving birth to these animals herself.
Finally made it into the New Yorker.
A People’s History of April Fools’ Day
Above: An engraving by Johann Michael Voltz depicting an April Fools’ Day riot against Jews in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1819.
Herschel Hoff is a professor of history and sociology at the City University of New York who specializes in the history of social movements and political activism. He’s written for Danger Zone, BoWwOw Magazine, A Bunch of Popsicle Sticks Stuck Together with Fudge, Taki’s Magazine, and other online publications. His book, A Riot of One’s Own: Activism, Alienation, and Change in the Internet Agewill be published by BARFY University Press this fall. What follows is an excerpt from that work that we thought it would be appropriate to publish in honor of the “holiday” today.
For centuries, April Fools’ Day—known by a number of names—has been associated with class, race, and social status. Many date the day’s origins to the Persian holiday of Sizdah Be-dar, or “Day of Far Too Many Puddings,” when traditionally the king would give everyone the day off on the condition that they all make and consume pudding until they vomit. This, according to Zoroastrianism, would purge men of all bad thoughts and spirits. Notably, however, the nobility was exempt from actually making any pudding and would often play cruel tricks on their slaves; thus, it was actually a festival that enforced class privilege rather than a day of rest and equality.
Other candidates for the “original” April Fools’ Day include the Roman festival of Hillaria, a weeklong event that encouraged lying and homosexual horseplay, and the Feast of Fools, a holiday celebrated in medieval Europe on which children would be given authority over their elders. This latter occasion gradually evolved into the “Test of Fools,” which mainly consisted of townspeople quizzing each other on the Bible. Those who answered too many questions incorrectly were determined to be Jews and stoned to death. (This tradition was particularly popular in Scotland, where it became “Hunt-the-Gowk Day” [“Gowk” meaning “Jew” in Scots], which was banned in the 1970s.)
The tradition migrated to the Americas with Christopher Columbus, who instituted a “Day of Fools” day at the gold mines he owned in the West Indies. His slaves were only required to mine two pounds of gold each rather than four, and they were “rewarded” with a feast of roast pheasant that night. The real “trick,” however, was that Columbus, his mind by then addled by drinking from lead-lined goblets, forced the slaves to listen to his “light humorous verse” (mainly nonsensical doggerel that detailed Columbus’s fictional, and grotesque, sexual conquests). Those who did not laugh sufficiently, or consume enough pheasant, would have their tongues cut out.
from VICE. last year.
New Vice Comic
Guilt Trip @VICE
Christmas in a nutshell.